Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I can't!

I went to bed last night in a snit. I know, hard to believe of me, huh?

Dustin had just gotten home from a closing shift at about ten p.m.

I wanted to stay up and hang out with him for awhile.

He looked into my eyes and instead of something romantic, asked, "Are you sure that is a good idea? Shouldn't you be in bed and sleeping?"

And then I went into my snit.

I turned from his hug and started muttering to myself.

"I can't stay up late, I can't have sugar, I can't go out a lot with my friends, I can't take care of my house, I can't take care of my girls all the time, I can't, I can't, I can't.... I'm so sick and tired of 'I can't!!!'" I might have even added a subtle stamp with my foot, I don't remember if I did or not, but I do remember throwing a pillow off my bed. So very mature of me.

Yes, I will be 32 on Saturday.

Hard to believe, I know.

Dustin came and made me finish our hug.

And brought some sanity back into my pity party and temper tantrum.

I was quickly reminded not to focus on the "I can't's"

Everyone has I can't's, not just me. Some people have a lot worse I can't's than me.

It doesn't matter what I can't do. It matters what my focus is on.

Obviously we have seen the results of me focusing on the I can't's.

Not pretty.

I'm working today of focusing on my Savior and the blessings He has given me.

Jess, my oh so precious friend for going on about 14 years, gave me an early, and timely, birthday present. It was the below poem or prayer. I love it! And it reminds me where to go when my focus gets out of Wac and I start throwing pillows. :-) Not at anyone, mind you! I haven't sunk that low yet!
I know you probably can't read the small print, but look at the bold. Such precious promises, and ones I need daily.

Oh, and see that card in the corner? You never think you will see the day when people start giving you "Happy 29th Birthday" cards. Sadly, I have reached that day. And from a friend, too. Thanks for rubbing it in, Jess. :-) Wait till you get your birthday card!
This has nothing to do with my snit, but with the fact that Dustin has been waiting years to share a hot drink with me. Mine may be only water, but steam comes out and he can pretend it is coffee.
This is the look of excitement he gets when I mention he will be grilling. :-) I will add that he does a marvelous job of turning out a really yummy steak. And the chicken he did the other night was superb!
This is my new perfume. Dustin informed me the other day that I smell like a cross between a spice closet and a Chinese Restaurant. I'm still trying to decide if that is good or bad....

Now, off to a day where I focus on everything I can do, which is a lot!


The Roli Poli's said...

Your honesty is encouraging.. Those I can'ts can be very overwhelming at times and its nice to know that I am not the only pillow thrower ;) Praying for you!!

thelumberjackswife said...

I have heard about you from both Jess and Momma Mindy. I like your posts and appreciate your honesty.

jess said...

Sadly, I am not 110 pounds either.