Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Do I dare...

This has been posted once, then accidently posted again, so.... I'll just post it.
The reason I took it off was because I feared being too excited. Maybe imagining things that weren't there. That still may be the case, but because I have a little bit of hope, I'm going to share it anyway. If I'm wrong, well we can all cry together and keep praying harder! Here it is.

I almost hesitate to write this.


But I'm going to anyway.

Because all of you are praying for me.

A few days ago I noticed that my wheeze was getting less pronounced.

Very timidly I shared this with my husband and family.

It is so hard to get my hopes up, only to find out I'm imagining feeling better.

When you are sick you get pretty good at that.

I've hesitated to even draw a deep breath because I didn't want to disappoint myself.

Today I was on the computer, slouched down.

"Yes, Grandma, I know it is horrible posture. I promise that when I am done with my coughing I will walk around with a book on my head for weeks."

Can you tell my grandma is concerned about posture? Every time I see someone slouch I think of her.

It's a good reminder, not a bad one. And she still stands super straight, by the way.

But, anyway, back to my wheeze. It is always worse when I slouch.

I breathed in, then froze.

Breathed again.


Deeper still.

No wheeze.

Not a single little bit.


"Don't. get. too. excited." I told myself.

I straightened up.

Deep breath.

Still no wheeze.

Granted, I'm giving myself coughing fits like crazy.

No new news on that yet.

But the wheeze.....

You have no idea how encouraging this is to me right now.

It may not be completely gone, but this is the very first day in a very long time that I have been able to take a deep breath without a wheeze. If you don't remember the wheeze is from the tumor pressing on my trachea.

The only way the wheeze could go away is if my tumor is getting smaller.

So... back to the "Do I dare..."

Do I dare believe that this bean, veggie, GARLIC, hot water and protein diet is working?

Do I dare believe that this denying myself sugar and all fruit, passing up frozen strawberries, cheese, etc... might actually be worth it?

I'm beginning to dare.

No other signs of getting better yet, but the wheeze is a pretty big deal. God is amazing!

Thank you so much for praying, and while you are at it, could you pray that the cough would be the next to go? That and the pesky ear ache that sometime comes to my right ear due the the pesky tumor. :-)

Now, off to prepare my bean and protein and the minced garlic supper. I will be rejoicing about it more than I would have a couple of hours ago. Praise the Lord for Beans!


Yellow Daisy Momma said...

Praying. . . and hoping!

jess said...

Love you Robin. I'm sad you're sad. Excited that you're excited. Praying those beans will all be worth it.