Friday, July 30, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Karis didn't mind my being behind in the least. She was personally in charge of the sprinkles.
Doing what I do best these days. Praise the Lord for a family who will carry on when I need to put my feet up.
It rained the whole day, but that couldn't stop the games from continuing on. I may even venture to say that they had more fun. :-)
Pinata time! She picked it out herself.
As you can tell by the look on her face, it was a little harder to break than anticipated. We figured out why, at the end. The thing was made out of cardboard. You needed a knife just to get into the thing. Oh well, the candy inside was still good:-)
I still can't believe I'm the mom of a five year old.
Gabi enjoying her cousin Madaline at Grandma's. I think she loves the fact that she is bigger than her.
This look was pretty much on her face the whole day. Thank you everyone for making it a wonderful party. She has enjoyed her presents thoroughly! Every one of them!
Grandma Karen saved the day yet again by producing this amazing ballerina cake. I was almost too cute to eat.
Thanks again everyone for making my five year old have two wonderful parties! Family is such a blessing!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
- to give up possession of or power over; yield to another on demand or compulsion
- to give up claim to; give over or yield, esp. voluntarily, as in favor of another
- to give up or abandon: surrendering all hope
- to yield or resign (oneself) to an emotion, influence, etc.
- to give oneself up to another's power or control, esp. as a prisoner
- to give in (to): to surrender to temptation
Surrendering suddenly sounds so much harder.(While, not the surrendering to temptation part. I do that fairly easily:-)
For me it means surrendering to the fact that I may:
Not be the high energy mom I want to be for my kids.
Face the reality that the doctors may never find the solution to my problem.
Live with pretty much constant pain. Yes, most of the time it is low grade, but sometimes it is high grade. And it is always there.
Realizing shopping, vacations, swimming lessons, going to the park, going to church, going to play groups, going to the library, making meals, cleaning the house, these will all exhaust me for the day.
Never being able to sing more than a few phrases without coughing, on a good day. I love to sing. This is something I miss a lot. Especially during church and with my little girls in the car, or before bedtime.
Rarely having a conversation without a coughing fit.
Projects that are forever before me, ones I really want to do, but realizing that if I work on them I won't be able to take care of the basics of my house and the girls.
Facing the reality that being sick costs money. Money we would rather spend on other things. Or money we just don't have.
Watching my husband live with the stress of me being sick, him having to provide extra help, extra money, extra time that wouldn't have to be if reality wasn't as it is.
The last one is one of the hardest.
The reason I have hesitated in sharing this is that I don't want people to feel sorry for us.
It is what it is.
I've been through some rocky patches as God deals with the reality of surrendering to Him.
Surrendering my ideals of what my future looks like.
And it always comes back to this: "As for God, His way is perfect. The Word of the Lord is proven. He is a shield to those who trust in Him." Ps. 18:30
And it is, He is. He's always there for me.
He lets me wander about the house after the girls are in bed, Dustin still at work, tears streaming down as I list all of the above and how hard it is for me.
How much I want life to be different.
How jealous I am of moms who aren't sick.
And then gently reminds me that He is with me.
Though He cries with me, keeps my tears in His bottle, He also has a purpose in all of this.
So, yes I have rough days. My attitude isn't at all perfect. My struggles are continual. But His grace is indeed sufficient in my weakness.
That is why I say, please don't feel sorry for me, for us.
It may be a rather bumpy road, but the blessings I get from depending on God to get me through (when I remember to do that) abound.
What we do want, however, is your continued prayers. I covet those. Realizing that the only strength I have comes from above.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
These are the two favorite men in my life. :-)
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Apparently fourth time is the charm for me. You can see ALL our faces and no awkward arms.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Jesus, Lover of My Soul (It's All About You)
It's all about You, Jesus
And all this is for You
For Your glory and your fame
It's not about me
As if You should do things my way
You alone are God
And I surrender to your ways