Tuesday, February 23, 2010

My Instruments of Torture!


Saturday, before we made the trek up to Mayo, I went to Walgreen's and picked up my prescription.

I'll admit it was with a little fear and trembling.

And the pharmacist assured me it would be a terrible decision to drink it before we got to our destination.

The easy access to a bathroom seems to be key. :-)

Back to my fear and trembling. From all reports the pre-colonoscopy treatment was much worse than the procedure.

It's not that I doubted people like my dad, etc., but could drinking something be worse than sticking a camera up your bum?

Really?

We arrived at my Aunts home an hour later than planned because of horrible travel conditions on the way up.

Sometimes Dustin couldn't see the road when a Semi would pass us, but because he is such an amazing driver, I wasn't even tense.

The delay meant I didn't get to start my drinking until 11:30p.m.

That is super late for me these days.

I mixed up the powder with the water.


Selected this cheery mug.

Poured the instructed 8 oz.

Took a deep breath (I figured if I didn't breath maybe I wouldn't taste it as much) and gulped it down.

I could only do four big gulps before I had to come up for air.

Holy moly!

Think lemonade that someone seasoned with salt and baking powder.

A lemonade that makes your tummy roll like a tsunami ready to hit the shore - ok, that might be a slight exaggeration. Just slight.

I held my breath again - not sure why this time because it didn't help the first time - and downed the rest.

Ugg, ugg, ugg...

I told Dustin if I had to drink three more glasses I would die.

And you know what?

At the moment I was positive I really would. :-)

Yes, I can be slightly dramatic when the occasion calls for it.

Dustin chuckled a little, then pulled me close when I started to shake.

I'm not sure if it is what I drank, or just my drama queen ways.

I didn't do it on purpose, promise!

He stayed up with me, not that he really had a choice, I wasn't going through this alone, and made me laugh inbetween the guck.

I did manage to chug down three more torturous glasses.

By the last two I was standing over the sink, just in case I, through no fault of my own, gagged and spewed it everywhere.

I'll admit to you that I didn't quite get the full 32oz down. I think it was more like 30.

But, it did the trick.

You see, I was smart, no it was God prompting me because I probably wouldn't have thought of it on my own.

Dr. Yu gave me a full body/colon cleanser for the past six months. I doubled up on it saturday, so come Sunday I was pretty cleared out.

Then not eating, plus the "lemonade" and I was as clean as a whistle.

I cheated and didn't drink the rest of the 32 oz. the next morning.

Even looking at the bottle made me ill.

And yes, I'm being dramatic, but I knew I was good to go.

Well, almost positive.

The check in lady asked how much I had drank.

I couldn't lie. Surely I was ok, right?

She ratted me out to the nurse because the first thing the nurse said was, I hear you only got 50% down.

I felt a little sheepish, but not drinking that second round was worth it the feeling.

And that is about all I remember. :-)

Other than my Doctor was really nice, he had an orange bow tie, and, my colon was super clean. I think I remember seeing a picture of it. I think. The drug they give you is super weird.

I want to emphasize super clean to justify my actions of not obeying the Doctors instructions.

Even my specialist told me how clean my colon was.

Not that you wanted to know that.

But, hey, this is my life at the moment, so this is what you get to hear about.

So, the verdict?

The colonoscopy, due to drugs I'm sure, was a breeze.

The torture before?

NEVER again if I can help it!

My prayers are with whoever of you out there has to get one next, and if you want the name of my colon cleanser, where you just have to swallow some harmless pills, give me a call!

7 comments:

Yellow Daisy Momma said...

I don't think that I could write about that in such a way as to make people cringe and laugh at the same time! Love you!

MommaMindy said...

Isn't it funny that we didn't start blogging to talk about all these horrible, icky things? Yet, this is what the Lord is bringing us through, so we keep writing. We keep hoping and praying that as the Lord blesses us and the Lord comforts us, we can bless and comfort other people.

And, sister, you are blessing and comforting others. I love your spirit of clinging to your hubby and to the Lord in these hard times. Still praying!

Rosanne said...

I have no doubt that it is as bad as you say - my dad has the strongest stomach of anyone I know, and when he had to take it, he threw it up... it was the first time he'd thrown up since childhood - so it must be bad! Makes you wonder why they can't give you the same kind of pills you were taking... Sounds a little more pleasant!

Teresa :-) said...

Rulebreaker.

Andy and Jennifer said...

Can I call you when my 4-year-old needs one?! (She had one at 2...)

The Roli Poli's said...

I love hearing stories of husbands that are there for the "worse" parts of marriage. Its amazing the support they bring to us in those embarrassing, uncomfortable, awkward, (the list could go on) moments. We love them in those "better" moments but I think our loves for them overwhelms us when they are right by our "worst" sides. Praying for you and thankful to the Lord for amazing husbands!!

beccarankin said...

Amen and Amen! :-) Love you all!