Thursday, April 22, 2010

A Walk Through the Hundred Acre Woods...

The last couple of days have been a little rough emotionally.

It is true when they say a good portion of the battle against disease is in the mind.

Tuesday was an Eeyore/Piglet/Rabbit day.

For example, and you need to read the next phrases in an Eeyore voice.

I'm serious. :-)

"If the doctors can't help me, nobody can help me."

"What I'm doing now is probably useless."

"The tumor is just going to keep growing and growing."

"If it doesn't keep growing and growing, the best case scenario is that I will feel like this for the next fifteen years."

See? Eeyore.

But I'd switch back and forth between all of them several times a day.

Now go to Rabbit. Worry, worry, worry.

" I know I'm doing things to attack this thing, but what if I'm taking them wrong? In the wrong order? Eating something wrong? Is it going to throw it all off?"

"If I only have, worst case scenario 15 years, I won't even see Gabi graduate."

"What if I never feel better than right now? Do I really have to live with that the rest of my life?"

And then, of course, Piglet, who is terrified of everything. :-)

"I..I... th-th-think I h-ha-have an un-un-untreatable tumor. N-n-nobody will be able to hel-hel-help me.... Oh dear."

Yes, it's been a tad rough around here, and I've needed Dustin and my mom to pull me out of my little pity party.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for those of you who sent encouraging words and verses. And for those of you who have been thinking of me and praying.

Everything has helped me/us through this new speed bump in our lives.

I kept thinking of the verse, "I will lift up mine eyes to the hills, from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth." Thanks Pastor Kevin.

Granted, my eyes kept going back to the valley, but every once in awhile that verse would remind me that I wasn't trusting in any doctors, be they traditional or non-traditional.

I'm trusting in the Lord.

So... God is helping me to focus on the important things.

Like the fact that I'm not getting worse, I'm getting a little more energy. :-)

My wheeze is still mostly gone. :-)

I have the everyday little things to delight in.

Oops, this was supposed to be of Karis, but anyway, Gabi is loving the park.
Watching them enjoy Daddy time is always a delight.
Painting your toenails for the first time each season always makes me smile.

It also made me feel sorry for guys.

After all, if I need a little perking up, I can paint my toenails or put on some makeup.

What do they do?

I really should ask Dustin.
Being reminded by my bracelet that God knows what He is doing is also a perk. And the sunshine that allowed us to enjoy the park was amazing.

God is good. He is what He says. Faithful, no matter what is going on in your life.


Mandolin said...


I DID the voices. Good post, Becca!

Yellow Daisy Momma said...

One word persistance :0)

jess said...

I did the voices so now you have to as well.

P-P-P-P Perk Uppp B-B-B-Becca. W-W-W-W-Weee L-L-L-Love you!!

H-H-Hugs, P-P-P-Piglet

beccarankin said...

I did, made me laugh!