Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Confusing results

The Dr. from Mayo called with results.

Phone consultations are are horrific and I've decided I hate them.

But, besides that, it is just more, "we aren't positive what we are dealing with and we need more tests."

The tumor in my lung is what they are calling a carcinoid tumor. Two Doctor's have said it is non-cancer. One here, one at Mayo. But it could mutate into cancer.

Oh the other hand, I've read the web -

I know, super dangerous, but I had to, of course. It's right at my fingertips. I couldn't resist.

On those sites they make it sound like a slow growing cancer. I have the typical tumor, which is good, I guess as opposed to the atypical tumor.

In my opinion a tumor is a tumor, and when you throw in the word Cancer, even if I might not have it, well it strikes a little fear.

But... according to my Doctor it is very treatable, with good results.

That didn't really comfort me over the phone. Besides, Dustin wasn't there, I wasn't in the mood to ask a lot of questions right then, I just wanted to get off the phone and digest.

Right now I'm not exactly sure how to feel. Should I be upset or not?

But I know you guys are praying, so I wanted to update you. Even though I'm not sure yet what I'm updating you on. But... on the bright side, now all of you can be confused with me. :-)

Ps. 18:30 and several verses past that have been so encouraging. I keep going back and back and back to them. "As for God, His way is perfect. He is a shield to those who hide behind Him. His arm is strength for those who choose to use it." That is paraphrased, and probably badly, but you get the idea. I don't know about you, but I feel awfully safe hiding behind God when I'm scared, and to know that the strength of the arm of my Creator is at my disposal is a great comfort.

My arms are rather wimpy.

So, the tests.

These I'm not at all that thrilled about.

Well, at least the colonoscopy.

Those are for men over fifty, not me.

I don't know about you, but I never thought I'd get one. Dustin's all sympathy. Though I haven't heard him say he would take my place for this one, like he has everything else, if he could.

Don't blame him.

I can get my blood drawn, pee in a cup, go in a little cylinder for a x-ray, not really cringe when they say they are inserting a needle into my lung, put a camera down my nose and be ok, but a camera up my bum?

See?

You are cringing, too.

There is just something about it that strikes horror in my heart and my brain insists that that is a place no camera should ever have to go.

But the Doctor has spoken - my fate is sealed.


So, if you happen to think of me, pray.

Pray that this won't be as serious as it sounds at the moment.

Pray that the Doctor's will have the wisdom to get to the bottom of it and the correct treatment.

Pray for us as a family, that we will have peace.

And pray that I won't freak out about my date with that poor unlucky camera the first week in February. :-)

11 comments:

John said...

Wishing you the best with your carcinod cancer diagnosis. Although carcinod cancer is not considered to be familiar...three members of my family have it (Mother, Brother, Yours Truly). Generally speaking CC is a non-aggressive form of CANCER! The Mayo Clinic has a well earned reputation for treating it ultra conservatively. If you haven't already had an Octreatide Scan have your Doctors schedule one. Also, please be certain that your doctors at a MINIMUM order these blood tests: CGA, Pancreastatin (generally considered the BEST MARKER only performed by ISI in California), & Seratonin.

MommaMindy said...

OK, I was almost crying until I read the line " will have the wisdom to get to the BOTTOM of it"....what an ice-breaker, for a minute.

Yuck. I'm all sympathy and feeling the weakness in waiting and waiting and wondering. I am sad and trusting the Lord to give the rest of us the grace to deal with what He allowing you to go through with His grace and mercy.

beccarankin said...

ha, ha, that was unintentional. :-) Thanks for your prayers and thoughts.

Chad said...

I have never had a colonoscopy myself, but I have heard the worst part of it is drinking the stuff the night before. My mom had one and she was put out for it. (I would much prefer it that way) I'm praying for you. My heart feels heavy for the burden that you have to bear. However, we serve the Great Physician and although you are putting yourself into the care of some of the best doctors in the world, He is the one ultimately in control.

jess said...

Was that Chad Raney?? You
are moving up in popularity in the blogging world. :)
Wow, Becca, two men commenting on your blog...
I did want to call you today. I was hoping you did get to visit with the doctor again.
And I'm with Mindy, I did chuckle a bit about "getting to the bottom of it." Hey we braclet wearers have to laugh when we can on this one. We just love you to darn much to let this "bottom you out." Ok. I'll stop now. IT's late, and my mommmy brain is fried, and I'm probably the only one laughing...
I do love you though - Robin. :) Over and out. Batman.

beccarankin said...

No, you made me chuckle, too!

Mandolin said...

Ok, let me comfort you as a 27 year old that HAS had this done. You will be totally fine. It's not horrible at all. They put you to sleep and it feels like 2 seconds later you wake up. No soreness (tmi), or anything. Be comforted. If you can birth two kids you can handle a colonoscopy! :)

Justin said...

I have been and will continue to pray for you and your family. I am glad to have your website now to follow you on. I am sure you get tired of having to tell everyone over and over again. Please let Justin and i know if there is anything we can do for you guys.
Terase

Jennifer said...

Praying for you, Becca. I had the up the bum procedure done, when I was younger than you, and yes, the purging ahead of time is the worst part. Make sure you have the girls at gramma's that night so you can just have your own little party. Love and many hugs to you!

Daniel Joo said...

I wanted to contact you on behalf of the Caring for Carcinoid Foundation. I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Carcinoid is a cancer that requires attention and treatment as such. Our website, www.caringforcarcinoid.org, has information about carcinoid and also contains a number of other resources to help you in this process. Also, please feel free to contact our patient support staff if you have any questions or comments. Ben at benblackwood@caringforcarcinoid.org, Robert at robert.roose@caringforcarcinoid.org or myself at daniel.joo@caringforcarcinoid.org.

Jayne Stark said...

Do get put out! Mom had one without drugs and said she would never do that again. I wish she could be your nurse! She would just love to help you. Praying!