Phone consultations are are horrific and I've decided I hate them.
But, besides that, it is just more, "we aren't positive what we are dealing with and we need more tests."
The tumor in my lung is what they are calling a carcinoid tumor. Two Doctor's have said it is non-cancer. One here, one at Mayo. But it could mutate into cancer.
Oh the other hand, I've read the web -
I know, super dangerous, but I had to, of course. It's right at my fingertips. I couldn't resist.
On those sites they make it sound like a slow growing cancer. I have the typical tumor, which is good, I guess as opposed to the atypical tumor.
In my opinion a tumor is a tumor, and when you throw in the word Cancer, even if I might not have it, well it strikes a little fear.
But... according to my Doctor it is very treatable, with good results.
That didn't really comfort me over the phone. Besides, Dustin wasn't there, I wasn't in the mood to ask a lot of questions right then, I just wanted to get off the phone and digest.
Right now I'm not exactly sure how to feel. Should I be upset or not?
But I know you guys are praying, so I wanted to update you. Even though I'm not sure yet what I'm updating you on. But... on the bright side, now all of you can be confused with me. :-)
Ps. 18:30 and several verses past that have been so encouraging. I keep going back and back and back to them. "As for God, His way is perfect. He is a shield to those who hide behind Him. His arm is strength for those who choose to use it." That is paraphrased, and probably badly, but you get the idea. I don't know about you, but I feel awfully safe hiding behind God when I'm scared, and to know that the strength of the arm of my Creator is at my disposal is a great comfort.
My arms are rather wimpy.
So, the tests.
These I'm not at all that thrilled about.
Well, at least the colonoscopy.
Those are for men over fifty, not me.
I don't know about you, but I never thought I'd get one. Dustin's all sympathy. Though I haven't heard him say he would take my place for this one, like he has everything else, if he could.
Don't blame him.
I can get my blood drawn, pee in a cup, go in a little cylinder for a x-ray, not really cringe when they say they are inserting a needle into my lung, put a camera down my nose and be ok, but a camera up my bum?
You are cringing, too.
There is just something about it that strikes horror in my heart and my brain insists that that is a place no camera should ever have to go.
But the Doctor has spoken - my fate is sealed.
So, if you happen to think of me, pray.
Pray that this won't be as serious as it sounds at the moment.
Pray that the Doctor's will have the wisdom to get to the bottom of it and the correct treatment.
Pray for us as a family, that we will have peace.
And pray that I won't freak out about my date with that poor unlucky camera the first week in February. :-)