Friday, January 29, 2010

Another day...

My babies are happily eating carrots and broccoli for breakfast, along with their daily dose of Multi, Vit. C, Gummy Echincia, and Probiotics.

(Oh, and watching the San Francisco Ballet perform the Nutcracker. "Mommy, I'm very attracted to ballet" were Karis' exact words last night.)

See... if they don't get it in their food, I figure at least they are getting a good shot at it in their vitamins. :-) Sometimes toast, a piece of fruit, or a waffle just doesn't quite cut it.

I have to say they are very resourseful. If there is food in the house they will find it, and probably eat it.

I know I should be inforcing the "No food unless mommy gets it for you" rule. However, there are days I don't feel that great and it is a relief to find them snacking on yogurt, an apple, or a bowl of cereal. So... that rule is going to have to wait. :-) They will probably be cooking for themselves by age six at this rate.

You know my trust issue?

I've decided I have one, which surprises me.

I have wonderful parents who I can completely trust.

Growing up with that makes me wonder why I have a trust issue.

Dustin has had to challenge me several times to trust him, and I know he is trustworthy, as well. But still, I want to take control, do it my way, because I don't trust.

See?

It's an issue, and one God is dealing with.

I was crying out to Him the other day, well yesterday, to be exact.

"He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But whoever walks wisely will be delivered."

Prov. 28:26

I know, you are disappointed it isn't Ps. 18. Don't be, I have one from there, too. :-)

"The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;" Ps. 18:2

I think my trust issue stems from the fact that I want to trust in myself, not God.

I don't want to be that fool, so I am praying that He helps me put my trust in Him, and also in the fact that he has given me a wonderful husband to help me make decisions.

Yesterday didn't help matters, at all, and is probably just one more step to push me closer to God.

I had been looking at my schedule for Mayo.

I was supposed to have a MRI and then a Colonoscopy within a few hours.

Only problem was that I couldn't eat anything before the MRI, yet I was supposed to take some of the super yummy cleaner outter you get for a colonoscopy that morning, before my MRI.

I couldn't quite figure that out.

How I was supposed to lie still in an MRI machine for up to an hour when I had the aforesaid super yummy cleaner outter doing it's job and cleaning me out? Do you just squeeze the little red ball and say,

"Umm.... sorry to disturb this delicate process, but I really need to run to the bathroom. And I mean now! Please uncuff me!"

After a few days of wondering how this might work, I finally called.

Guess what?

They had made a mistake. It was impossible.

I know.

It was a little mistake.

Not life threatening, not damaging to me, at least I don't think it was.

But still a mistake.

And you know my state of mind about trusting the medical field at the moment.

So, it just reinforced my decision that God, and God alone, should be my rock and the one I run to for wisdom. I'm am trusting that He will help me and Dustin catch the mistakes that come my way.

I also heard a story from one of my speech students that encouraged me. He said it is true, and I have no reason to doubt him, I just can't give you the source.

A girl was walking down a deserted street at night. She was alone.

She walked past an alley where a bum was sitting against a garbage can.

He didn't move, nor try to hurt her.

Twenty minutes later another girl walked by and was raped by the same man.

Later, at the police station, the first girl (And I'm not sure why she was there) asked the man.

"Why her, why not me?"

His answer,

"You were walking between two huge men. I couldn't get to you."

If it isn't true, it could be, and it gave me chills. Angel stories always do.

God is protecting me in a way I never could and I do believe that.

Unfortunately, most of the time I have to pray like that man in the Bible, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief."

I'm glad God is patient, and I'm glad He cares enough to send angels to protect us. Makes me feel much safer in my walk through the unknown world of Doctors and hospitals.

A world where I have no idea what is going on.

But He does.

And today I rest in that.

2 comments:

Rosanne said...

If I woke up to find my kids eating broccoli and carrots for breakfast, I would turn right around and head back to bed, knowing I surely was not awake, but having the oddest dream... :) "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." So often quoted but so true!

MommaMindy said...

I have totally turned my panty into a haven of healthy snacks. Dried nuts, fruit, healthy cereal, mini applesauces. I also keep the fruit container stocked. That IS being a good mommy, just because you don't actually MAKE it, don't feel bad. You are still making sure they are eating healthy. If they wake up sonme morning, find a hidden candy bar and eat it, you are STILL really good mommy! :)

I used to make muffins and freeze them in ziplocs of two. You could do the same with waffles. I know your family would love to help prepare that stuff for you.

Getting enough sleep is also being a good mommy. Remember, the rules in your head are for healthy mommies, not sick mommies. We get to make our own rules. :) It's OK!