Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I've come to the conclusion that in order for me to write I need a motivator. What I wrote of our book on a piece of scrap paper promptly got lost, or put in a pile nevermore to be found.

While I was in Chicago last week one of the goals was to find the right notebook. Rae and I made it to the right aisle, but I promptly got distracted by that little orange journal in the picture. Orange is one of my favorite colors, I'm a sucker for leather covers, and daisies are my favorite flower. It was me, and it found it's way into my cart.

Rae remembered the purpose of the visit and found a very earthy notebook for my inspiration. It has served it's purpose as 2/3 of the book is hopefully written. I have till Saturday. Noelle wants it done so she can get the pictures started. Slave driver!

Seriously though. I left the notebook on my bed, and when I woke up at five I kept thinking about the book. Lines were going through my head, and I knew that I had to get up and write or I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it. So I did. Three pages worth.

We will see what Elle thinks of it tonight. She and Faith are coming over to do something that I am very excited about. I'll post about it later. Maybe tomorrow.

I've loved my journal to record what God has been teaching me. There are some things so personal I can't post it on the blog, but mainly it has been to rest in Him.

That seems so basic, so simple.

For me, it isn't.

I want to be able to do.

I want to do something about what is going on in my body. It kills me that nothing seems to be helping. AUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!

But that is where God has me.

I have no choice but to rest and trust in Him.

When I panic, which is more often than I would like, Dustin reminds me of where my foundation needs to be.

I need to be building it on the Solid Rock. When all the scary thoughts of the doctors not knowing anything, or what should I do next come chasing me down, I need to be able to turn to Him.

Putting my trust in doctors right now is like shifting sand. That hope can get washed away pretty quickly.

It's a hard lesson to be learning, though, I'll be honest.

Thank you for helping me through this battle with your continued prayers. Just knowing they are out there gets me through a lot of moments.

As you may have guessed, there is nothing really new on the health front. Just going day by day. Looking and searching for new things.

Praying for God's directions and strength.

This morning when I woke up I heard little people moving around in the other room.

I listened for a bit.

Doors opened and closed.


I love the giggles.

Finally I pulled myself out of bed to investigate.

Karis wasn't in her room.

Gabi's door was closed, which meant my munchkins were probably up to something in there.

Usually I find a huge mess behind closed doors, so I braced myself.
No huge messes. Just sisters enjoying an early morning snuggle. I love them so much.

God knew what He was up to when He gave me these little blessings.
It matters not how the battle goes,
The day how long;
Faint not! Fight on!
Tomorrow comes the song."

That is my new slogan. My battle isn't going to be a short one, but I won't faint! I want to fight on!

Sorry, that's a little random, but I just read that and wanted to share it. :-)

1 comment:

MommaMindy said...

You are inspiring and encouraging. I love you so much! Still praying and loving from Washington.