Thursday, February 3, 2011
This is what keeps me going....
There are days this journey seems like it will go on forever. That I just can't endure one more pain, one more set back, one more anything.
Those are the days I look at these faces.
She loves me so much, and according to her, tomorrow she is going to marry me.
I will be the prince.
How can it get any more precious than that?
And then there is this little one. She is my helper, my encourager.
The two of us, we have a deal.
When I'm better, when my body doesn't hurt like I'm 120, we are going to have the biggest tickle fight on the planet.
And you know what? We are.
Someday that tickle fight is going to happen.
And that one in the middle?
His unending patience with me puts me to shame.
He is never upset when I have a day that is a little worse than most.
When I cry because I just want a day where I don't have even a little bit of joint pain.
Or a full night of sleep.
I had to look at these today because while I'm sleeping a little bit, I'm not sleeping great.
I had a nightmare last night that one of my aunts almost shot me.
I don't have any aunts that would even think of doing that. :-)
Lack of sleep really does a number on me.
But what hit me the hardest today was the fact that the two pounds I put on came back off.
I was sick last week. Nothing serious, but it kept me from eating as much as I wanted to.
Who would have thought the loss of two pounds would cause me to cry?
A year ago I would have laughed at you.
I seriously considered putting a feeding tube in, but that would be wimping out.
With God's help, I can do this.
I still have a lot of great things to be excited about.
I'm coughing a lot less.
My lung feels so much better.
I think I'm headed in the right direction, but what is it that people say?
The end of the race is the hardest?
I don't know that I'm nearing the end, but if the difficulty is any indication I'm hoping I am.
Pray that God helps me to stay strong.
That I keep force feeding myself and don't just give up.
That I can rejoice.
God has given me much to be thankful for.
A warm home in this weather.
Food to eat that will make me gain weight.
The ability and strength to eat even if I don't feel like it. I could be bedridden.
A church family who keeps on caring, and caring, and caring - like the energizer bunny.
Back rubs. :-)
A God who never gives up on me, despite my doubting moments.
Those of you who keep reading my ramblings and praying.