It was a date/look for a back massage tool so Dustin doesn't wear out his hands on my sometimes very tight muscles kind of outing.
You know the kind. The, let's go out for dinner then stop at Menard's for a toilet tank cover. Ah the romance. :-)
We've had to do that twice.
I finally moved the picture we had hung over our toilet. It seems solid wood does a number on porcelain if it is knocked off the wall. Just in case you want to check out what is hung over your toilet. :-) Those lids are hard to come by.
But back to our mall date.
I was crabby.
It wasn't a thing Dustin had done.
I wanted sugar.
We drove past the Cheesecake Factory and I declared that I wanted chocolate peanut butter cheesecake.
I stood outside of Starbucks and looked with positively green eyes at the cinnabun place and DQ.
We went for an appetizer at a restaurant and I wanted the cake and cupcakes they had out for breast cancer awareness month.
They were even uncovered and looked like they had been sitting out for several hours. I still wanted one. Bring on those germs.
I started meaningless arguments with Dustin because I was a monster and wanted sugar.
The next morning we went to church.
A word of wisdom, don't go to church if you are currently a crabby, grumbly, icky monster. At least not our church.
I love our pastor except for the fact that he has this ability to bring conviction almost every single Sunday - no every Sunday.
This time there were several things, but the biggie was a question.
"Is there anything in your life that you think about more than your Savior." Meaning it has become more important to you than Him.
I cover my face as I say this. (not literally, at least not now, a second ago, but not now, because if I did I couldn't type.)
It seems so foolish, silly, fluffy, unbelievably .......well unbelievable.
What was I currently letting come between me and thinking about my Savior?
I was a grumbly ungrateful mess because I couldn't have sugar.
I won't deny that it is stinkin' hard to pass by chocolate and pumpkin bars, sweet tarts and icecream, but really?
To make it so important that I would let it ruin my outlook on life?
To seriously wonder if it was worth giving up even if it could be a huge factor in getting rid of a tumor in my lung.
You know it's addiction when you actually think to yourself that maybe a lung tumor is worth a candy bar or a cold Pepsi.
I've thought it, trust me.
But what cuts me the most is that I let myself get so caught up in my need for sugar that I couldn't even be grateful for what I do have.
I'm not going to hell. I don't get the eternity I deserve for my sins because Jesus saw fit to die for me and take the punishment. (John 3:16)
Hello. That ought to trump any lack of sugar in my life.
Second, I get to eat most everything else. Even a little cheese on occasion.
Third, I feel sick after I eat a lot of sugar. So I feel better when I don't have it. Yet I want it.
Sometimes I wonder a little about my intelligence.
I know without a shadow of a doubt I will feel sick after I eat pretty much any kind of sugar.
I've been tested. I'm allergic to it. And chocolate. (it's ok to cry here. Allergies like this are worth a few tears.)
Yet my brain rationalizes that this time it won't make me sick. I'll feel fine.
No wonder God compares us to sheep, but that is for another post.
God has brought things back into perspective. I miss sugar, but I'm no longer drooling over the lack of it. I'm trying to focus on what is really important in my life.
As long as I have Christ, nothing else matters.
Will I remember that always? Probably not. I'm sure I'll need reminded about a gazillion more times before eternity. He is always faithful to give me a quick slap in the face when it is most needed, though. A gentle slap for the most part, but a slap nonetheless.
Next post I will treat you with what I do get to eat like candy. A.K.A. garlic and fiber. Oh yum. :-)