Tuesday, August 10, 2010

folding laundry :-)

I just, literally minutes ago, got off the phone with Dustin's grandma.

Months ago she told me she would be happy to help out with anything - even mentioning folding laundry for me.

I've discovered something about myself through all of this.

I HATE asking for help.

I HATE that I need to ask for help.

I HATE that I can't do it on my own.

Always before I've been able to go some place and help other people out - even if it is as simple as doing dishes, cleaning a bathroom, cleaning out a fridge, whatever needs to be done.

I loved doing that for others.

Now I can't even clean out my own fridge without sinking into exhaustion for the next few hours.

And part of me through the last two years keeps thinking "just another month and I'll be better. If we can survive this month all will be normal again."

I'm beginning to realize that this isn't going to be quick. I'm going to need help or my family is going to go crazy.

Which brings me back to the HATE to ask for help thing.

I've analyzed it. Thought about it. Wondered why, when my world is falling apart around me it is so hard to ask for help.

1. I don't like being an inconvenience to people. Having to help me cuts into their schedules and their time.

2. Admitting I need help brings being sick into more of a reality.

But God is showing me that people want to help.

Just like I enjoyed helping others, they enjoying helping me.

I can't do it on my own currently - Let me just say again it is so hard for me to face that fact. So hard!

Not that I could ever do it on my own, really. Sickness just tends to make clear how much you need help. :-)

So, anyway, all this to say I did it.

I called Grandma Karen up and asked her to fold my laundry for me.

It was hard.

I want to be able to fold my own laundry.

Not that I don't want Grandma Karen over here. I love having her over here.

But it is hard to let go of aspects of my life.

And you know what?

I don't even like folding laundry. :-)

Ironic.

You would think I would be jumping up and down for joy over the fact someone else is doing it.

And I am.

I am jumping up and down -figuratively, of course, as we know I don't jump - that people and family are there ready and willing to help.

God has put me in a position where I need the help.

I'm finally ready to ask. Not just to have my laundry folded. :-)

Next post will be all about our lake vacation. Much more fun than folding laundry. :-) The girls decided they wanted to live there, but more about that later. :-)


1 comment:

MommaMindy said...

Good for you. You are learning to let other people bless you. If the Lord tells them to do something for you, and you deny them the opportunity, you are denying them a blessing. But, after all that, I don't like asking for help either, and have had to learn to do this. So glad you are learning, because I know everyone around loves you and wants to help you. ;)