Friday, December 11, 2009

I broke down...

and made an appointment at Mayo Clinic this morning.

I'm just tired. I'm tired of feeling great for a month then having a couple of days, like today, where I want to jump in a tub of pain medication just to be able to sleep and move like a normal human being.

I hate hearing my four year old say,

"It's ok mommy, I'll take care of you because that is what big girls do."

She shouldn't have to ever even think that. She shouldn't hear an anti smoking commercial on the radio talking about the dangers of smoking for your lungs and turn to me saying, "That's what wrong with your lung, mommy, you've been smoking." It worries her more than I know...

She shouldn't have to eat a frozen pizza at ten thirty in the morning because that is all I have the energy to scrape together...

It is effecting their lives more than I realize.

So... the 29th is the day for my next appointment. I almost got one for Monday, but wasn't quite fast enough getting my records together. A half an hour is a long time up there, I guess. :-)

Pray for me.


Hopefully the pain will go away like it always does, but I'm feeling like a little complaining wimp right now who just wants it all to go away and be better NOW, not later.

So once again pray for me. Pray that the Dr. will either have a new alternative or agree that surgery is the best option. Pray that we will have a peace about the decision. Pray that it will indeed take care of the problem and not just create new ones. Pray that I feel ok for Christmas... So much to do, so may presents yet to get, so little energy or motivation on my part. And Karis is so looking forward to Christmas this year.

Thank you for letting me share this, and thanks for caring...

5 comments:

MommaMindy said...

Oh, how I wished near enough to come and cook and bake and decorate up a storm for you with all my girls! I am praying that the Lord brings you the help you need when you need it, but more than that, gives you the answers you need concerning your health. Some of the strongest young women I know are women that the Lord called on to care for their mothers. It may not seem right,I felt that way often, too, but the Lord is doing a work in everyone's lives. I love you so much, and wish I could give you a hug. We are praying!

Rosanne said...

Hang in there... We're praying for you. Some days you just need to vent - and that's OK. Hope everything goes well, and you are able to get the answers you need.

Jayne Stark said...

I am so glad you made you appointment today!!! I will be praying! Don't worry about Christmas! Karis will love anything you do! She is a good girl. I am so glad you came out on Firday, but I wish I had known how bad you felt. I love you and keep this blog update with your progress!

Mandolin said...

I know you have family near... but if you need anything - do let me know. I can take the girls to play anytime!

beccarankin said...

Thanks everyone for your sweet posts. :-)