6 years!

I can't believe it has been six years, already. I have been so blessed to have a husband who supports me in every way and loves me no matter what.

Often I've thought of those vows we made "In sickness and in health."

Half of our marriage has been in the sickness part of those vows. I jokingly say, "If he hasn't left me now, he never will."

What I love is that the statement isn't a joke. He will stick with me. No matter what.

Thanks for that confidence, Sweetie. It makes everything I have to face so much easier.

Christie took some fun photos of us when we went out on a double date. It's been awhile since he has swung me up like that. :-) Guess all those veggies I'm eating are paying off!
I love the look on his face. Life is tough for us right now. So often I can look at him when I'm down and discouraged and I see humor, love, and a solid someone I can trust in. He is continually pointing me to scripture and reminding me that God has a purpose with our lives, in our marriage, and specifically with my health. He keeps me on track :-) both figuratively and literally in this picture. :-)
Eating at my new favorite. Hu Hot. It has a lot of veggies. We actually went to Texas Roadhouse for our anniversary. So yummy. We didn't do much after that because I was pretty wiped out, but it was still fun to do dinner together. Faith and Rae babysat our little girlies as an anniversary gifts. Love those kind of presents. :-)

The lake

Some friends of ours invited us to join them for a few days at their families lake house. It didn't take a moments thought on our part to say yes! This view wasn't hard to wake up to each morning, let me tell you.
Sophie and Gabi weren't exactly sure what to think of each other all the time, but I think these little cheeseballs will be great friends one day.
Gabi being Gabi
Jess's sister came over to take family pictures for us. (an amazing blessing) This is Gabi all dressed up and ready. She is holding her "Maddie" doll. Karis never had a doll that was special to her, so it is fun to see Gabi loving her blanky and Maddie. Fun, except when you are looking all over for them at bedtime. I must say, thumbs are much easier to find. :-)
Karis adores Maddie and Lexie. Convincing her that she needed to go to bed before them was difficult. Somehow my five year old was convinced she was entitled to stay up as late as the big girls.
The daddies firing up for s'mores. I have never seen marshmallows as big as the ones Jess brought.
See the marshmallows coming out the side there? That is only ONE.
Enjoying her first S'more. She is hooked.
Faith learned to waterski. I was so proud of her. It didn't take all that long, either. I think three tries and she was up!
Look at her go!

Faith graciously came along to help. I couldn't have done it without her. She sent me back to bed some mornings. Helped make sure the girls were dressed, etc. Watched them down at the dock. And on, and on, and on..... I'm so grateful God provides help when I need it.
This is where the kids spent most of their day. I asked Karis on the way up if she was excited to see her friends.

"There not my friends, mom, they're my cousins."

And they truly are more like cousins. Since all her real cousins are either older or a lot younger we have decided to adopt the Rivers. :-)

This is where we sat and watched the kids more often than not. Ironically this is just a few hours before we yet again celebrated our time together by going to the emergency room.

For the record, it wasn't because of me. Jess got Polymorphic Skin Eruption. I just love saying that, by the way.

It's sun poisoning. She didn't have a bad burn, it's just some random thing that happens that makes you absolutely miserable. Like stinging nettles all over your skin. She did get some relief, but our last day at the lake wasn't very fun for her.

The adults were the walking wounded. Jared had burst both eardrums. OUCH.

I was just me. Problems, of course.

Dustin was tired, but he was the best out of all of us.

And them Jess had Polymorphic Skin Eruption.

Still, I'm glad we had the opportunity to spend those days together!

Like I said, they lived down here. Swimming, sand buildings, fishing with a net. They caught tons of fish.

Some little kid had told the Rivers kids that if you hummed at the fish it calmed them. Totally untrue. Or so I was told, but the kids were unconvinced.

This made for some chuckles on our parts as our little kiddos hummed all week at their catches. The fish didn't seem to mind as long as they were fed and tossed back in.
Speed boat rides were a highlight.
She would rather be with her daddy, but I did want you to realize that I was actually on this trip and did get into the boat on occasion.
It was a little cold at times.
I was so glad my girls got some quality daddy time. That's what vacation is all about!
Enjoying apples.
Cover me daddy, cover me! It's freezing!
Daddy may not be pretending to be sleeping.... just a guess. Little munchkins can wear one out pretty quickly!

folding laundry :-)

I just, literally minutes ago, got off the phone with Dustin's grandma.

Months ago she told me she would be happy to help out with anything - even mentioning folding laundry for me.

I've discovered something about myself through all of this.

I HATE asking for help.

I HATE that I need to ask for help.

I HATE that I can't do it on my own.

Always before I've been able to go some place and help other people out - even if it is as simple as doing dishes, cleaning a bathroom, cleaning out a fridge, whatever needs to be done.

I loved doing that for others.

Now I can't even clean out my own fridge without sinking into exhaustion for the next few hours.

And part of me through the last two years keeps thinking "just another month and I'll be better. If we can survive this month all will be normal again."

I'm beginning to realize that this isn't going to be quick. I'm going to need help or my family is going to go crazy.

Which brings me back to the HATE to ask for help thing.

I've analyzed it. Thought about it. Wondered why, when my world is falling apart around me it is so hard to ask for help.

1. I don't like being an inconvenience to people. Having to help me cuts into their schedules and their time.

2. Admitting I need help brings being sick into more of a reality.

But God is showing me that people want to help.

Just like I enjoyed helping others, they enjoying helping me.

I can't do it on my own currently - Let me just say again it is so hard for me to face that fact. So hard!

Not that I could ever do it on my own, really. Sickness just tends to make clear how much you need help. :-)

So, anyway, all this to say I did it.

I called Grandma Karen up and asked her to fold my laundry for me.

It was hard.

I want to be able to fold my own laundry.

Not that I don't want Grandma Karen over here. I love having her over here.

But it is hard to let go of aspects of my life.

And you know what?

I don't even like folding laundry. :-)

Ironic.

You would think I would be jumping up and down for joy over the fact someone else is doing it.

And I am.

I am jumping up and down -figuratively, of course, as we know I don't jump - that people and family are there ready and willing to help.

God has put me in a position where I need the help.

I'm finally ready to ask. Not just to have my laundry folded. :-)

Next post will be all about our lake vacation. Much more fun than folding laundry. :-) The girls decided they wanted to live there, but more about that later. :-)

Some time away....

Just so my faithful few don't worry about me, I'm letting you know Dustin has this week off so we are just going to have some family time - no blogging allowed. :-)

Have a great week!

God is good, part 2 or stranded in the burbs

I made it out to Chicago in relatively good time.

Driving the 5 1/2 hours all by myself is never easy, but I made it.

Tired, but I made it.

My appointment was uneventful.

Not many of my supplements have changed, which can be discouraging, but on the other hand, the one I'm taking specifically for my tumor went down, so that is a little encouraging.

It may mean my tumor is feeling the effects and DYING! Not disappearing, but dying.

That is the first step.

Kill it, then expel it - hopefully it is working.

I left the office right during rush hour traffic for Abby's apartment.

Unfortunately the road I was on was like a parking lot, abnormally so due to construction.

I rolled down my windows, turned on the radio, and prepared for an hour or more drive to my destination that should have taken about 15 min.

Suddenly....

Pop.

Steam.

Barely getting my car off the road before it died.

And realizing I was in a strange city, on a strange road, in the middle of 6 lanes of stop and go traffic,

All. By. Myself!

I immediately called Dustin - exactly what I thought he was going to do way back home, I'm not sure - but I called.

He tried his best, but we couldn't come up with any solutions other than calling some random towing company and hope for the best.

Did I mention that my phone was dying?

Thankfully Dustin has this handy dandy little thing that you can plug into the cigarette lighter and then plug your actually charger into.

I panicked for a few minutes as I didn't know how to turn the power on, but eventually, after desperately praying, I found it.

The last thing I wanted was to be stranded out there without my phone.

After calling Rae, who is working out there observing my chiropractor, and asking her to pick me up, she told me that her boss, the man who owns the building my chiropractor works in, said he could send his mechanic and truck.

We said, "Yes, thank you very much!"

This whole process took about 2 hours.

Two hours in which I had a great Bible reading time, and randomly turned on the radio to hear a sermon on Job.

If I had been tempted to complain about my lot, remembering Job's story quickly chased that away.

I was out of traffic's way, I had a nice breeze, and my car hadn't exploded.

Not to mention someone was coming to get me.

The calvary arrived shortly, and I have never been so happy to see cars with faces in them I knew.

Justin, Rae's boss, told us to go on home, he would wait with the car until the tow truck arrived.

I hugged him and gratefully got into a moving car.

He grinned and said he would want someone to do the same for his daughter if she was stuck in a strange city.

Praise the Lord for people like Him.

I later found out that when he said "His mechanic and truck" he literally meant that.

It seems he owns several businesses, one of them being some kind of mechanic shop.

I can tell you one thing,

If the car had to overheat, I'm glad it did it there.

If I had to be stuck, the road was perfect.

And...

I'm grateful for a friend in Chicago who owns a tow truck!

The mechanic, Andy, had a bit of a headache finding out what was wrong.

I almost took Rachel's car home because they didn't think they would get it done in time.

In fact, I had driven her car to a gas station just down the block.

Crying.

You see, her car is a manuel.

I learned to drive on a stick shift.

Drove one for seven years.

Loved it.

I don't drive them now.

Driving in Chicago traffic made me so nervous.

And yes, I cried.

Why would God make me drive a manuel home, when He knew I was so uncomfortable with them?

My husband listened to me whine and blubber over the phone, called Andy, and they worked it out.

You see, someone had jimmy rigged our car before we bought it. Putting some wires together so the fan ran all the time to cool the engine, then hiding their work, which is what took them so long to find it.

Andy graciously jimmy rigged it again so I could drive it home.

I drove Rae's car back to her, so relived I didn't have to drive it, and then asked for a ride to the shop.

Carson, someone else she works with, unhesitatingly took me over there - some 25 minutes away. (Chicago is so BIG! It was technically even on the same side of town.)

I"m telling you, God is good!

Andy patiently explained what was wrong, handed me the part to fix it, told me how to find the other part in a junk yard so we wouldn't have to spend $250 for the whole thing, and offered to find it if I wanted him to.

I already felt like we had been burden enough, so I said Dustin would try to find it at home.

He assured me that if we couldn't, he would do it and mail it to us, or the next time I was in Chicago he would fix it for me.

When I pulled out the check book he waved me away and said it was all taken care of.

The towing.

The part.

The time and labor to find that silly jimmy rigging!

I smiled all the way home.

What could have been a headache and very expensive had been a blessing and a reminder to me of just how good my God is!

God is Good!

Lately, when people have been asking me how I'm doing, my standard answer is "fine".

One man said, "No, how are you really doing?"

Another dear friend said, "Liar".

That started me thinking. They were both right to call me on my answer.

I'm not fine.

Life is tough.

But I don't want to complain all the time, either, so I am borrowing a phrase our pastor shared a few sundays ago about a man he knew.

When asked how he was doing he would always say, "God is good!"

This is true, no matter what.

I may be having a really hard day, but God is good.

It's not just a trite answer, either. it is the truth in my life.

God has never let me down.

No matter what the struggle I'm going through He always puts in some little thing to let me know He is there, that He is good, and that He is in control.

I'll share an example in my next post. :-)

Back to the Dr.

I'm headed to Chicago for the next couple of days. Hopefully I'll be able to get two appointments in, and try a few new things.

Thanks for the prayers. I need them especially right now.

Life feels a bit overwhelming, a bit difficult, and a little frustrating.

I'm holding on tight to God, knowing He can get me through the tough stuff when I feel like I can't do anything myself.