"Look, Sweetie, my stomach is sticking out and I'm not even trying to push it out."
By the time all this is over Dustin isn't going to know what to say to me.
Is it a good thing to tell her that her stomach is sticking out, or am I supposed to say it looks flat?
Alas, my stomach was flat again this morning, so I ate a cup of nuts, yogurt, two eggs and two pieces of bacon.
I will be having a snack in about an hour. :-)
As I was walking around last night admiring my stomach, several thoughts came to mind.
I remembered weighing myself when I was pregnant with my girls.
I dreaded the scale for different reasons, and never could decide whether to leave layers on so I could blame the weight gain on them, or take everything I possibly could off before stepping on that scale.
Usually leaving everything on won. If I can justify anything away I will.
Now, well, now things have changed.
I NEVER weigh myself in the morning.
Never!
I always get on the scale in the evening, fully dressed, after drinking a lot of water.
I'd wear weighted boots if I could justify it. :-)
Funny what we do to try and change reality, isn't it?
And then I wonder, as I'm sure some of you do, how I let it get to this point.
The point where my body is almost starving to death.
Somehow in the last year the concern about my weight got pushed behind other issues.
At first we didn't notice because I needed to lose about twenty pounds.
Then we got caught up in tests, allergic reactions, pain, and solutions.
All of a sudden you wake up and realize you have about twenty pounds to gain and you had better do it quickly because it is effecting everything about you.
My joints, my healing (I guess you need some fat to heal), and my energy.
I will admit that I never thought it would be this much work.
Only four days into it and I'm ready to say, "Put in a feeding tube, put me in a coma, and wake me up when I've put on ten pounds."
This is yet another pair of shoes I never thought I'd have to walk a mile in.
Always I have envied those underweight people, thinking how much easier it would be to pack on the pounds then lose them.
Not so much.
I'm telling you, have sympathy on those people. :-)
Not everything is always as it appears, and in all likelihood they are struggling with something far worse than just being underweight.
Yet another valuable life lesson learned for me - the hard way, yet again.
Takes a bit to get things through my thick head.
Though this current task in my life seems impossible at the moment, Karis reminded me through her memory verse last night that,
"For nothing will be impossible with God." Luke 1:37
And that is true. Whether it is gaining weight or just making it through whatever impossibility you are facing today.
Remember that!
Nothing, absolutely nothing is impossible for Him!
3 comments:
soiftOkay I tried to call you because I thought that this comment would sound funny on your blog. I'm not sure that your number is the same
though.
So here is my somewhat strange thought . . .when my boxer was sick and really needed poundage we got him some high calorie paste ...do they make such options for humans?? No idea...just a thought. I'm sure that with all the people on your team they are on top of it!
I'm sure I speak for many others when I say I'd be glad to pass on some pounds if I could!
they make some great no sugar nut butters too!
Love you!!
Thank you for your honesty. Sometimes we women are so critical of one another. Next time I see an anorexic looking person in the store, I won't be so quick to judge and quicker to pray. It never occurred to me that they might be phyiscally sick, not just emotionally sick. I should have been praying, anyway, regardless of the cause. Thanks for sharing your heart, you are changing ours.
I just was catching up on some of your posts, and I wish I could gift you the twenty pounds I have just started working on losing! If only we could work that out, hee, hee. I imagine it is rather tough to add weight and stay away from sugar at the same time.
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