discussions on spitting

I know you are dying to know the details of my liver biopsy :-) (who wouldn't be) and I promise to try and not disappoint you, but I decided tonight that it was time to enlighten you on some of the conversations this little girl and I have around here and give you another little glimpse of life in our house.

Tonight, she pleaded for me to read her a story before bed.

I dread this every night.

Sometimes because I'm tired and desperately want to rest and am selfish. (ok, this happens alot, because I am selfish, and I really need to work on that)

Mostly (along with the selfish, ugly, sin part) because I know I will cough most of the way through the book.

Tonight was no exception.

I had to set the book down a couple of times in order to go to the bathroom and spit out the mucus that often comes up while coughing.

I realized the other day how often this occurs when the girls will pause in a conversation and tell me "mommy, go spit."

I have to laugh to hear that coming out of their little mouths. They have no idea this isn't normal behavior for most moms - maybe some of you dads out there, but not most moms. :-)

Tonight after I tucked Karis in she said, "You remember when we went to the fair a couple of years ago, mom?"

"Yes, baby."

"Well... we can go to the fair this year because it has grass and it is ok for you to spit on the grass."

Oh my.

I'm praying we can go to the fair next year. That I will have energy, my lung will be better, and that I will no longer have to "spit." :-)

Though, I may do it anyway, cause you know, there will be grass - and apparently grass is for spitting on.

Seriously, though, I'm glad for these little ones perspective.

Tonight she also said, "I hate your tumor, mommy. God hates it, too."

I needed to remember that. God hates it too.

He isn't enjoying watching me go through this. He cares about each little struggle, and somehow remembering that makes each little struggle a bit easier to go through.

I love my girls, and am so glad they still love this very imperfect mommy - spit and all!